IN DEFENSE OF NOT WRITING started in 2022, as a bi-weekly column with Write or Die Magazine, in which I explored—or, more honestly, tried to convince myself of—the myriad ways we can, and maybe should, engage with our creative process beyond actively writing.
It came as a spur of the moment idea. Kailey DelloRusso, author of “In the Weeds” here on Substack and founder of Write or Die, put out a call for column ideas. I had been following her for a while, since we had some mutuals through my Sarah Lawrence Connections, and thought I would just go for it.
The night before, my father had once again sat me down and asked if I was writing every day. “You know,” he would tell me. “They say you need 10,000 hours to achieve mastery. This is a muscle you’re working.”
I responded, as I always do, that while I wasn’t writing every single day for various reasons—I was about to graduate from grad school, I was working full-time, I was trying to find my footing—that I at least always did something towards my writing. I read, I watched new shows and films, I listened to music. I went on walks and cooked; I dealt with guilt and did the dishes (all of these topics I’ve since covered in proceeding entries). In my eyes, I was doing all I could, maxing out my daily lived experiences, and the accusatory question of my output was becoming tiresome.
So, I sent out the pitch.
And since then, I’ve been dutifully mining my daily life for glimpses of transportive meaning. Of art and purpose and a deep craving to find depth in all that I do. It can be as simple as making brisket for the first time, or becoming a trivia fiend. Maybe it was learning to eat fruit before it molds or dealing with rejection. Through the lens of my column, my life became so much richer.
Thus, when Kailey announced Write or Die would be moving away from the columns, I was devastated. We talked things through and she was actually the one to push me to make this move. That the column was my property, my creature. I could do whatever I wanted with it.
Which leads us here: IN DEFENSE OF NOT WRITING is turning into a newsletter. And the act of putting this beast together has served as my activity for this winter break. Much like the original column, you can expect a free newsletter to drop into your mailbox on a bi-weekly schedule. The archive of my original posts are currently free as well, but will eventually go behind a paywall, as will any and all publications made between the free newsletters—any and all payments and donations will directly support my writing and time.
Crafting this opening letter feels so different from the work I’ve done for nearly two years with Write or Die. It feels more personal somehow, vulnerable. There is no other editor, no other name or face or voice to take the fall if this fails or to keep me accountable in the meantime. I feel ripped raw and open, which I guess is as good a creative exercise as any.
